A theological review of The Mummy Returns and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Jewish date:  19 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5774 (Parashath Wayyaqhel).

Today’s holidays:  Chaoflux (Discordianism), Feast Day of St. Señor Wenches (Church of the SubGenius), Narconon Day (Scientology).

Given how bad The Mummy was—theologically and otherwise—I considered not reviewing its two sequels.  (Seriously.  That movie would have been noticeably more theologically accurate had they had the Egyptian priests pray “Hail to the Sun God! / He really is a fun god! / Ra!  Ra!  Ra! / Ra!  Ra!  Ra!”, which is silly, but at least contains some authentic Egyptian theology.)  I watched them anyway.  The people who made them seem to have tried to make them less obviously stupid and more entertaining in the style of the Indiana Jones movies, but both sequels still have stupidity problems.  

WARNING:  MERCILESS SPOILER ALERT! 

The problem is not merely that people who accidentally revived a mummy and had to deal with killing it again would be well advised to keep away from Egypt and everything even remotely Egyptian for life.  These sequels both share the original’s serious flaw that rising of dead rulers who might bring about the end of the World as we know it could have easily been prevented.

The Mummy Returns makes an attempt at constructing a theology for this series.  Long ago, a defeated warrior, the Scorpion King, pledged his soul to the Egyptian god Anubis in exchange for victory and revenge against his enemies.  Anubis accepted his bargain, and when the Scorpion King was victorious, He took the Scorpion King and his army.  And now the threat is that the a cult led by Meela Nais, the reincarnation of Anck-su-namun (the love interest of the bad guy from the last film), will resurrect Imhotep (the bad guy from the last film), and Imhotep will defeat the awakened Scorpion King and gain the latter’s powers, thus letting him bring about the end of the World as we know it.

Authenticity check:  I am not an expert on ancient Egyptian religion by any means, but this sounded wrong, so I looked up Anubis.  It turns out that Anubis was the god of the afterlife, not the counterpart of Satan.  A Faustian bargain with Anubis makes no sense, as the Scorpion King’s soul was destined to be delivered to the care of Anubis no matter what.  And since all mortals must eventually go to Anubis, unless he turns into a pathological over-worker, He has no real motivation to drum up business by getting more humans killed in the short term.  A better choice for an evil god would have been Set, who, if memory serves correctly, came to be identified as evil.  As for Anubis or any other god making it possible for any mortal to gain end-of-the-World powers of destruction, I cannot recall anything like that happening in the stories of any religion.  (If anyone has an example of this, please let me know.)  Such power belongs to gods and beings operating on the level of gods alone, and for them to make in attainable by mortals is to confer godhood.  As Imhotep and the Scorpion King, unlike the Pharaohs, have no claim to godhood, such power is inappropriate for them.

I would also like to note that reincarnation is not something I have ever heard about the ancient Egyptians believing in.  I am aware they seriously believed in the afterlife and made preparations for it.  If anyone is aware of the ancient Egyptians believing that we come back, please let me know.  The form presented, in which Anck-su-namun somehow requires her original soul being restored to her despite being reincarnated, makes no sense.

In obvious symmetry, it was not just Anck-su-namun who was reincarnated.  Evelyn O’Connell, the female lead, is the reincarnation of Nefertiri, daughter of Seti I, and she spends a nice chunk of the film regaining memories from that previous life.  Anck-sun-namun and Nefertiri did not like each other at all, to the extent that they fought in some sort of combat for entertainment of Seti I’s court (or more likely, given how they were dressed, the entertainment of emotionally immature male viewers) and took what they were doing as something more serious than a friendly match.  Likewise, Meela/Anck-sun-namun and Evelyn fight extremely seriously and try to kill each other.

If the name “Nefertiri” sounds familiar, you probably have seen The Ten Commandments, where she is wife of Pharaoh Raameses II.  Pharaoh Seti I is mentioned by name in The Prince of Egypt, where he is the father of Raameses II.  Nefertari (correct spelling), Raameses II, and Seti I were all real people, though I cannot confirm at this time who Nefertari’s father was.  As the writers of this film show no theological or historical sophistication, Nefertari was most likely co-opted as someone convenient and preexisting to oppose Anck-su-namun rather than for deeper reasons.  There was also a real Imhotep, but he lived much earlier than Seti I and company.

Pretty much everything else religious in The Mummy Returns is minor, such as small prayers asking for protection.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, while retaining many of the same characters as The Mummy Returns, changes the setting to China, thus throwing out alleged theological connections to Egypt.  The only real connections to religion in this film are some Buddha sculptures.  I would like to mention, however, that Shangri-La appears prominently in this film.  From popular culture, one might think that Shangri-La is a place from Buddhism or Chinese traditional religion.  It is not.  Shangri-La is a purely fictional place from James Hilton’s novel Lost Horizon, published in 1933.  Shangri-La may be inspired by Shambhala, a place from Tibetan Buddhist tradition, but that is a topic for me to research another time.

Oh, I would like to note that ancient booby-trapped tombs, such as those portrayed in this series and the Indiana Jones series, do not exist.  I looked it up.  Over time they would break down and stop working, and the ancients never mentioned creating such things  Instead, ancient Egyptian tombs were frequently broken into soon after they were sealed.  One can argue that booby-trapped tombs make for a good action sequences, which is fine if they are backed up with a story good enough to counterbalance historical inaccuracies—just so long as one does not take such things seriously.

Overall classification:  Action movies with Indiana Jones envy.

Theological rating:  D- for The Mummy Returns (for recognizing that the ancient Egyptians had gods who interacted with humans, but still screwing up massively) and I for The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (for lack of theological content and failing to deal with the wretched lack of theology in its predecessors).

The Fast of Ṭeveth and the non-end of the World

Jewish date:  10 Ṭeveth 5773 (Parashath Wayḥi).

Today’s holidays:  Fast of Ṭeveth (Judaism), Fourth Sunday of Advent (Roman Catholicism), Saturnalia and Larentalia (Roman religion), Feast Day of St. John Belushi (Church of the SubGenius), HumanLight (Secular Humanism).

Greetings.

1) Today is the Fast of Ṭeveth, which commemorates the siege on Yerushalayim.  More information can be found in “Asara B'Tevet” and “Fast of 10th of Tevet Marks Siege of Jerusalem”.  Needless to say, because of the fast, I am not particularly active today and will not wax poetic on anything.

2) Friday was supposed to be the end of the World according to various New Agers and a Christian sect known as “Almighty God”.  Also needless to say, these people were wrong.  The articles on the “Mayan apocalypse” did not stop, so today you get a followup.

• “'Mayan day of apocalypse' arrives”
• “Celebrations in Mexico as world survives Maya "end of days"”:  Not everyone who believed that Friday was something special thought it was the end of the World.
• “Denver sirens are just a test, not doomsday signal”:  Your humble blogger cannot make this up.
• “End of an era: Mayan 'apocalypse' today”
• “Hot spots draw believers, but not doomsday”

Peace and have an easy fast.

’Aharon/Aaron

The UN only values human life when politically convenient

Greetings.

Jewish date:  29 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Devarim).

Today’s holidays:  The Three Weeks (Judaism), Lailat al Miraj (Islam), Fifteenth Sunday of Ordinary Time (Roman Catholicism), St. Ponco Villa (Church of the SubGenius).

Note:  I am not discussing a Gospel-based film today, because I have not yet gotten around to watching The Miracle Maker yet.

Topic 1:  Today’s anti-Semitism update:  “The UN Bias Against Israel and Human Life” is two graphs which shows how much emphasis the United Nations puts on human life with respect to where human lives are lost.  Not only has the UN been outstandingly disproportionately critical of Israel (46,000 dead, almost all due to self-defense, 223 resolutions against; next to lowest death toll listed is Rwanda with 800,000 dead, next to highest most criticized is Yugoslavia with 58 resolutions against), but these graphs make a mockery of the idea that atheism is inherently more moral than more conventional religions.  Four of the countries listed—China, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, North Korea, and Yugoslavia—are all communist countries.  The Soviet Union is responsible for over 5 million deaths, and China for 31.5 million deaths.

Also:  The video “When we die as martyrs - Palestinian Children” gives some idea of why real peace between Israel and its enemies is currently impossible:

Yes, this is a children’s video promoting jihad and historical revisionism—behavior and ideology in blatant contradiction to peace and conciliation.  And if “Without Palestine, what meaning is there to childhood?!”, then childhood has been meaningless to Arabs for a long time.  There never has been a country of Palestine.  Before the State of Israel, the territory was controlled by the British, and before that the Ottoman Empire.  And yet there was no push for a “Palestinian” state until 1967, when “Palestine” became an excuse to wage jihad against Jews.  Also note “Trust the Palestinian Authority?”; the Palestinian Authority is saying one thing in English and another in Arabic again.

Topic 2:  More religious oppression:  “Muslim Mob Kills Wife, Children of Christian in Pakistan”, “Sealed Church in Bogor, Indonesia Appeals to UN”, “Punjab soup kitchen forbidden to Christians”.

Topic 3:  For today’s religious humor: “If yu seez dis, iz too”:


Peace.

Aaron

No, studying science will not turn you into an atheist

Image suggested by Zemata and used due to lack of a better idea of what picture to use for this post via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date:  11 Siwan 5770 (Parashath BeHa‘alothekha).

Today’s holidays:  Monday of the Eighth Week of Ordinary Time (Roman Catholicism), Victory over the U.S. Day (Can.) (Church of the Subgenius), Saints Cyril and Methodius Day (Christianity), Feast of Hermes (Thelema).

Worthy causes of the day:  “ColorOfChange.org:  Tell Fox: "Fire John Stossel"”, “Blackwater is just the tip of the iceberg”, “Stop the Comcast-NBC Merger | Free Press”, “Stop The Drill | Oceana North America”, “American Insurance Companies: Stop Canceling Women's Policies - Take Action Today @ The Breast Cancer Site”, “Save Gulf Sea Turtles - Take Action Today @ The Rainforest Site”, “action.firedoglake.com | Sign the petition to President Obama: End plans for offshore drilling”, “Take Action: TrueMajority.org:  NO BAILOUT FOR BP”, and “MoveOn.org Political Action: No Bailouts for Big Oil”.

Topic 1:  Today’s anti-Semitism update:  “"Jew Producer" Silenced: Comedy Central Update”.  “No Nukes?” is a cogent argument why Israel should not give up its nuclear weapons.

On the theme of religious intolerance one may also add “Muhammad cartoonist in hiding after arson attack”, “Endless violence against Christian women of Kandhamal”, “Vietnam police charge six villagers over Catholic funeral”, “Beijing warns US over Falun Gong”, “Protestant clergyman arrested in Guangzhou”, “UZBEKISTAN: Large raid and almost immediate trial starts against registered church”, and “Lao Christians Expelled from Village Suffer Critical Illnesses”.  Yes, it is an ugly, intolerant world out there where some people think they can suppress other people’s beliefs out of existence, as if the existence of only one set of beliefs made them true.

Topic 2:  “From Point of Inquiry: Does Studying Science Cause Atheism, or Vice-Versa?”.  The results of someone actually studying the question, rather than just pulling an answer out of thin air, violate common expectations:  people’s basic religious beliefs, whether accepting a religion or atheism, are normally not affected by science education.  Keep in mind that science is only well-suited for dealing with what can be observed.  As such, making good scientific arguments about lies beyond our universe (such as gods) is fraught with serious problems.

Topic 3:  For today’s religious humor (courtesy of Jason):  Sh'koyach - The New Age Jewish Comic Strip!  And no, this is not a LOLcat image, for a change.  It is a comic strip about a shrimp who moves in with an Orthodox Jew in order to avoid being eaten.

Peace.

Aaron

On conscience in V

Greetings.

Jewish date:  22 ’Iyyar 5770 (Parashath BeHar-BeḤuqqothay).

Today’s holidays:  Day 37 of the ‘Omer (Judaism), Thursday of the Fifth Week of Easter (Roman Catholicism), Feast Day of St. Guiness (The Stout) (Church of the SubGenius), National Day Of Reason (Humanism), National Day of Prayer (USA).

Worthy causes of the day:  “Sign the Petition | Terror Gap” and “Samsung: Come Clean About the Hazards in Your Workplace - The Petition Site”.

Topic 1:  The latest episode of V, “Hearts and Minds”.  This episode puts Father Jack through a wringer.  Our heroes shoot down what is supposed to be a V craft without any humans aboard, and in the wreckage they find what are apparently bones—human bones.  While no one is particularly happy about this, Father Jack, being a priest, is distraught.  He is very explicit that preservation of human life is paramount, and he cannot bring himself to deliberately endanger humans.  He even tipped off Chad (who is turning into a double agent) not to be aboard any V crafts the day our heroes planned to shoot one down.  At the end of the episode Father Jack insists that even though they are at war, they must not let the Vs compromise their principles.

Also:  In his distress, Father Jack talks to his bishop without actually specifying what he feels guilty about.  The bishop, while all for confession (they are Catholics, after all) tells him that if what Father Jack feels guilty over having done is a matter of (state) law, he should make a “different kind of confession”, that is, go to the police.  Intuition suggests this is a reflection of how the real-life Roman Catholic Church should have handled cases of suspected sexual abuse by priests.  We can only hope that real Catholic clergy will act this way in the future.

Also:  Lisa seems to be developing a conscience.  She looks disturbed at a human being subjected to the V version of abduction and probing.  (Think of cliché alien abduction scenarios which make more sense in terms of paranoid fantasies rather than ways to gain knowledge of humans.)  Furthermore, her feelings for Tyler appear to be genuine, and in an effort to apparently spare him being tortured or whatever Anna have in mind for him, she breaks up with him and then tells Anna that she has failed to convince him to live aboard the V mothership.  Anna, however, climbs to the next level of being a psychopath.  Her response is to punch Lisa in the face so hard as to leave a bruise, and then she orders one of her guards to break Lisa’s legs.  The point of this is to claim that Lisa was attacked by the Fifth Column and to lure Tyler into trying to help her.  I have to admit:  the writers are definitely doing a good job of making Anna scary.

Topic 2:  The daily dose of anti-Semitism:  “BBC's Non-Response to HR Report”.  Essentially the BBC tried to bluff their way around a serious bias problem.

Topic 3:  “Shanghai Is Trying to Untangle the Mangled English of Chinglish” and “A Sampling of Chinglish”.  This article and slide show are about translation gone horribly wrong due to people relying too much on dictionaries and not enough on people who know English well.  This should be a warning to anyone underestimating the importance of good translation.  Try to envision the level of disaster when stuff like this happens to religious texts.

Topic 4:  For today’s religious humor: “Crossin’ bridge to holy grail, BRB”:

I think there may be something of Monty Python and the Holy Grail in this one.

Peace.

Aaron

Why is China opposed to “defamation of religion”?

Greetings.

Jewish date:  11 Nisan 5770 (Parashath Ṣaw).

Today’s holidays:  Friday of the Fifth Week of Lent (Roman Catholicism), Synaxis of the Archangel Gabriel (Greek Orthodox Christianity), Feast of Mansur al-Hallaj (Thelema).

Worthy causes of the day:  “Repower America | We got next”, “Take Action: Send Congress Your State's Invoice for Foodborne Illness.”, and “MoveOn.org Political Action: Republican Leaders: Condemn the hate”.

New cool software:  Ancient Semitic Scripts, which is a collection of fonts for Hebrew and Aramaic based on historic texts.  Mac OS X users can put the font files (things ending with “.ttf”) into the Fonts folder of the Library folder (personal or system).

Topic 1:  More anti-Semitism:  “Not the White Response” and “Muslim-Jewish tensions roil a Swedish city”.  The first article deals someone saying something outrageous and then trying to rationalize it, thus metaphorically only stuffing his foot further into his mouth.  The second deals with anti-Semitic hate crimes in Malmo, Sweden, much of them connected with Islam.

Other religious persecution:  “Pakistani Christian couple refuses to convert: husband is burnt alive, wife raped by police”, “Christians Face 1,000 Attacks in 500 Days in Karnataka, India”, “Kidnapping reflects fears of Pakistan minorities”, “Christian Woman Jailed under Pakistan’s ‘Blasphemy’ Laws”, “Islamic Extremists in Somalia Kill Church Leader, Torch Home”, “RUSSIA: Lutheran extremists?”, and “RUSSIA: Who initiated anti-Jehovah's Witness and anti-Nursi campaigns?”.

Image of state religions which really ought to include atheism via Wikipedia

Topic 2:  “UN rights council slams 'defamation of religion'”.  This article has me puzzled.  Islamic countries are infamous for promoting prohibiting “defamation of religion”, the intent being to protect Islam from criticism or condemnation, whether it be fair or not.  However, China, of all countries, supported the resolution.  China, you will recall, is an officially atheist country.  The only way I see around the discrepancy is that China wants atheism protected from defamation as a religion, though this may be pushing it.

For the record:  I am opposed to this resolution because it seeks to squelch legitimate debate.  If one cannot make decent replies to criticism but has to squelch it, then one should be questioning whether one is right in the first place.

Topic 3:  For today’s religious humor, based on the next major Jewish holiday, Pesaḥ (Passover):  “Tough Love” and “All Together”.

Peace and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

What the gezornenblat was Jesus thinking?

Image of Yeḥezqe’l’s tomb via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date:  20 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Shemoth).

Today’s holiday:  Epiphany (Christianity, Gregorian Calendar).

Topic 1:  “Reports: Iraq De-Judaizing Ezekiel's Tomb”:  Hint to the Muslims:  Destroying evidence does not change facts.  There were Jews in what is now Iraq centuries before the rise of Islam, and nothing is going to change that.

Topic 2:  Other religious oppression:  “Algerian Muslims Block Christmas Service” and “Beijing imposes harsh sentences on Tibetan monks and lama”.

Topic 3:  As I have noted previously, I am working my way through the New Testament in the original Koinē Greek, and yesterday I ran across a passage which is totally baffling.  Thus is it written in Mark 12:18-27 (KJV translation with extra punctuation and annotation given here):

Then come unto him the Sadducees, which say there is no resurrection; and they asked him, saying, “Master, Moses wrote unto us, If a man's brother die, and leave his wife behind him, and leave no children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.  Now there were seven brethren: and the first took a wife, and dying left no seed.  And the second took her, and died, neither left he any seed: and the third likewise.  And the seven had her, and left no seed: last of all the woman died also.  In the resurrection therefore, when they shall rise, whose wife shall she be of them? for the seven had her to wife.” 

And Jesus answering said unto them, “Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God?  For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.  And as touching the dead, that they rise: have ye not read in the book of Moses, how in the bush God spake unto him, saying, ‘I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’ (Exodus 3:6)?  He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living: ye therefore do greatly err.”

To be blunt, Jesus’s answer makes no sense.  The Sadducees’ question deals with levirate marriage and the Resurrection:  which of one’s spouses in life does one have at the Resurrection.  Jesus claims that there is no marriage at the Resurrection.  But his prooftext is irrelevant.  Despite Jesus’s claims, Exodus 3:6 is part of a section dealing with the Exodus from Egypt, not the Resurrection.  Furthermore, Jesus gives no reason to infer that YHWH is the god of the living only, nor does he connect this to the Resurrection, nor does he explain how this passage somehow proves that there will be no marriage at the Resurrection.

While Jesus in general is presented in the Gospels as being such a poor exegete that his opponents’ arguments have to be omitted to make him look good, this passage has gaping holes of logic wide enough to drive a herd of camels through.  The question is how to understand this passage.  The simplest alternative, assuming this event really occurred, is that Jesus had no real answer and bluffed, and anything the Sadducees said back to him was not recorded.  However, I cannot a priori exclude the possibility that Jesus’s answer really was meant as a serious answer.  But if it was, then there are unstated assumptions, perhaps left out by scribal error, to bridge the chasm between Exodus 3:6 and no marriage at the Resurrection.  If anyone has any idea what these unstated assumptions are, please let me know.


Topic 4:  Today’s religious humor:  “Cat Spilleth Over”.

This seems to be a reference to Psalms 23:5.

Peace.

Aaron

Someone’s dreaming of an atheist Christmas...

Greetings.

Jewish date:  21 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Today’s holidays:  Immaculate Conception (Roman Catholicism).

Worthy causes of the day:  “Save BioGems: Take Action: Protect the Redrock Wilderness” and ONE | A Global Gift“”.

Image of this absurdly alleged atheist symbol via Wikipedia

Topic 1:  “Humanists launch a godless holiday campaign”.  The American Humanist Association, an atheist group, is trying to push the intrinsically self-contradictory notion of an atheistic Christmas again.  This is despite the fact that things with the Greek root christ in them tend to be distinctively Christian.  It does not matter how banal the holiday gets in popular culture.  Everyone knows that Christmas is supposed to celebrate the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, and people wearing Santa Claus hats and the slogan “No God? . . . No problem!” only looks like an attempt to steal a holiday.  And I think it appropriate to repeat—with updates!—some sarcasm I made at the infamous atheist bus campaign a while back:

No God? How can this not be a problem???  ARGH! All life is totally meaningless! There’s no afterlife, and all life is going to end in dismal oblivion! This is the ultimate problem!!!  What a horrible, horrible situation! How the gezornenblat are we going to handle something so terrible?  How can we possibly not need a god to get us out of such a situation?

Why, why, why can’t the militant atheists get their own holiday and show people the (alleged) beauty of atheism instead of nonsense like this current lame campaign?

Also:  The irony of atheists, who often claim to be pro-reason, trying to make use of the symbol of Santa Claus, belief in whom is often pushed for children despite its well-publicized irrationality, is not lost on me.

Topic 2:  More religious oppression:  “Tibetan Buddhist nun dies. She was in prison for protesting in favour of the Dalai Lama”, “Somalia: Al-Shabaab Kills People Inside Mosque” (Sunnis against Sufis!), “MALDIVES: What do Maldivians understand freedom of religion or belief to be?”.  There is much more of this that gets reported in the news than I report on this blog.

Topic 3:  More religious humor:  “Praeing Mantis needz to prae harder”.

This picture displays a commonly repeated misconception about prayer:  that prayer itself accomplishes goals.  In reality, all prayer itself can accomplish is to make sound and some psychological effects on the worshipper and those who are aware of the prayer.  To pray is to actually praise, thank, or petition one or more gods.  Note a fundamental asymmetry of power:  one can request something from a god, but one cannot actually force the god do anything.  Sometimes the answer to a prayer is “no”.

Aaron