A theological review of The Mummy Returns and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Jewish date:  19 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5774 (Parashath Wayyaqhel).

Today’s holidays:  Chaoflux (Discordianism), Feast Day of St. Señor Wenches (Church of the SubGenius), Narconon Day (Scientology).

Given how bad The Mummy was—theologically and otherwise—I considered not reviewing its two sequels.  (Seriously.  That movie would have been noticeably more theologically accurate had they had the Egyptian priests pray “Hail to the Sun God! / He really is a fun god! / Ra!  Ra!  Ra! / Ra!  Ra!  Ra!”, which is silly, but at least contains some authentic Egyptian theology.)  I watched them anyway.  The people who made them seem to have tried to make them less obviously stupid and more entertaining in the style of the Indiana Jones movies, but both sequels still have stupidity problems.  

WARNING:  MERCILESS SPOILER ALERT! 

The problem is not merely that people who accidentally revived a mummy and had to deal with killing it again would be well advised to keep away from Egypt and everything even remotely Egyptian for life.  These sequels both share the original’s serious flaw that rising of dead rulers who might bring about the end of the World as we know it could have easily been prevented.

The Mummy Returns makes an attempt at constructing a theology for this series.  Long ago, a defeated warrior, the Scorpion King, pledged his soul to the Egyptian god Anubis in exchange for victory and revenge against his enemies.  Anubis accepted his bargain, and when the Scorpion King was victorious, He took the Scorpion King and his army.  And now the threat is that the a cult led by Meela Nais, the reincarnation of Anck-su-namun (the love interest of the bad guy from the last film), will resurrect Imhotep (the bad guy from the last film), and Imhotep will defeat the awakened Scorpion King and gain the latter’s powers, thus letting him bring about the end of the World as we know it.

Authenticity check:  I am not an expert on ancient Egyptian religion by any means, but this sounded wrong, so I looked up Anubis.  It turns out that Anubis was the god of the afterlife, not the counterpart of Satan.  A Faustian bargain with Anubis makes no sense, as the Scorpion King’s soul was destined to be delivered to the care of Anubis no matter what.  And since all mortals must eventually go to Anubis, unless he turns into a pathological over-worker, He has no real motivation to drum up business by getting more humans killed in the short term.  A better choice for an evil god would have been Set, who, if memory serves correctly, came to be identified as evil.  As for Anubis or any other god making it possible for any mortal to gain end-of-the-World powers of destruction, I cannot recall anything like that happening in the stories of any religion.  (If anyone has an example of this, please let me know.)  Such power belongs to gods and beings operating on the level of gods alone, and for them to make in attainable by mortals is to confer godhood.  As Imhotep and the Scorpion King, unlike the Pharaohs, have no claim to godhood, such power is inappropriate for them.

I would also like to note that reincarnation is not something I have ever heard about the ancient Egyptians believing in.  I am aware they seriously believed in the afterlife and made preparations for it.  If anyone is aware of the ancient Egyptians believing that we come back, please let me know.  The form presented, in which Anck-su-namun somehow requires her original soul being restored to her despite being reincarnated, makes no sense.

In obvious symmetry, it was not just Anck-su-namun who was reincarnated.  Evelyn O’Connell, the female lead, is the reincarnation of Nefertiri, daughter of Seti I, and she spends a nice chunk of the film regaining memories from that previous life.  Anck-sun-namun and Nefertiri did not like each other at all, to the extent that they fought in some sort of combat for entertainment of Seti I’s court (or more likely, given how they were dressed, the entertainment of emotionally immature male viewers) and took what they were doing as something more serious than a friendly match.  Likewise, Meela/Anck-sun-namun and Evelyn fight extremely seriously and try to kill each other.

If the name “Nefertiri” sounds familiar, you probably have seen The Ten Commandments, where she is wife of Pharaoh Raameses II.  Pharaoh Seti I is mentioned by name in The Prince of Egypt, where he is the father of Raameses II.  Nefertari (correct spelling), Raameses II, and Seti I were all real people, though I cannot confirm at this time who Nefertari’s father was.  As the writers of this film show no theological or historical sophistication, Nefertari was most likely co-opted as someone convenient and preexisting to oppose Anck-su-namun rather than for deeper reasons.  There was also a real Imhotep, but he lived much earlier than Seti I and company.

Pretty much everything else religious in The Mummy Returns is minor, such as small prayers asking for protection.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, while retaining many of the same characters as The Mummy Returns, changes the setting to China, thus throwing out alleged theological connections to Egypt.  The only real connections to religion in this film are some Buddha sculptures.  I would like to mention, however, that Shangri-La appears prominently in this film.  From popular culture, one might think that Shangri-La is a place from Buddhism or Chinese traditional religion.  It is not.  Shangri-La is a purely fictional place from James Hilton’s novel Lost Horizon, published in 1933.  Shangri-La may be inspired by Shambhala, a place from Tibetan Buddhist tradition, but that is a topic for me to research another time.

Oh, I would like to note that ancient booby-trapped tombs, such as those portrayed in this series and the Indiana Jones series, do not exist.  I looked it up.  Over time they would break down and stop working, and the ancients never mentioned creating such things  Instead, ancient Egyptian tombs were frequently broken into soon after they were sealed.  One can argue that booby-trapped tombs make for a good action sequences, which is fine if they are backed up with a story good enough to counterbalance historical inaccuracies—just so long as one does not take such things seriously.

Overall classification:  Action movies with Indiana Jones envy.

Theological rating:  D- for The Mummy Returns (for recognizing that the ancient Egyptians had gods who interacted with humans, but still screwing up massively) and I for The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (for lack of theological content and failing to deal with the wretched lack of theology in its predecessors).

The end of the world, Indonesian intolerance of atheism, and bacon-flavored syrup

Jewish date:  14 ’Iyyar 5772 (Parashath Behar).

Today’s holidays:  Day 29 of the ‘Omer (Judaism), Pesaḥ Sheni (Judaism), Fifth Sunday of Easter (Roman Catholicism), Feast Day of St. Guiness (The Stout) (Church of the SubGenius), Feast of Saint George (Arabs in Israel).

Greetings.

I am going too long between posts again.  I am still rereading my LaVeyan Satanism books, finding rather a lot of the attitudes of Ayn Rand in there.  In the meantime, I would like to comment on a few items in the news:

1) “Miami cult who tattoo themselves with 666 say the world will END on June 30”:  I have no idea what self-proclaimed Antichrist Jose de Luis de Jesus of Growing in Grace International is thinking.  Please note that predictions of the end of the world so far have been all wrong, and I have no a priori reason to believe that De Jesus’s prediction is any different.  But I have marked the date in iCal, and if the world does end, I will be downright shocked and the first to admit he was actually right (if I still exist in some form at that point).

2) “Atheist in Indonesia Facing 11 Years in Prison for Saying 'God Doesn't Exist'”:  Indonesia has the reputation of being a fairly tolerant predominantly Muslim country.  Yet Alex Aan, an atheist who posted on Facebook his belief that God does not exist, was beaten up by an unruly mob and sentenced to 11 years in prison for his beliefs.  There is a very obvious question of why the government of Indonesia recognizes only six religions (Catholicism, Protestantism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Confucianism), suggesting that the government is more interested in maintaining peace between the existing religious groups rather than enforce a general tolerance for all religions.  That an atheist can be so maltreated is definitely not consistent with freedom of religion.

3) “Rabbi Approved: Kosher Bacon Syrup”:  Harold sent me a link to this, and it just struck me as weird. There is no actual bacon in the syrup.  The only thing wrong with it is mar’ith ‘ayin, that it may create the false appearance of consuming bacon.  Then again, the product is clearly labeled as bacon-flavored on the label.

Peace.

’Aharon/Aaron

A dancing monk, words with multiple meanings, and Jon Stewart

Greetings.

Jewish date:  25 Shevaṭ 5770 (Parashath Mishpaṭim).

Today’s holiday:  Tuesday of the Fifth Week of Ordinary Time (Roman Catholicism).

Worthy causes of the day:  “Heart Disease and Stroke. You’re the Cure.:  Alert Letter:  Let the Senate Rules Committee Know it's Time to Pass the Cigarette Tax”, “MoveOn.org Political Action: Tell Congress: Stand with Melanie”, and “Take Action: Help Protect New Mexico's Paleozoic Treasures”.

Topic 1:  “Japanese monk gets down with the beat for Buddhism”:  An interesting tactic for promoting Buddhism.

Image of the frontispiece of the KJV via Wikipedia

Topic 2:  Yet another problem with translation:  words may have multiple meanings.  Thus says the King James Version (KJV) of Exodus 22:28:  “Thou shalt not revile the gods, nor curse the ruler of thy people.”  The original Hebrew actually allows for four possible interpretations of whom one is not supposed to revile:  1) gods in general, 2) ’Elohim (= YHWH, God of Israel), 3) angels, and 4) judges.  The KJV, strangely, takes the interpretation least compatible with Jewish and Christian theology, option 1.  Intuition suggests the KJV’s misinterpretation may be an inspiration for Mormonism’s polytheism

Topic 3:  For today’s religious humor, submitted by Harold:  “Scewby Jew”, in which Jon Stewart deals mercilessly with Ḥamas’s anti-Semitic cartoons for children.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Story Hole - Children's Cartoons From Hamas
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Peace.

Aaron

In praise of Westboro Baptist Church (sort of)

Greetings.

Jewish date:  19 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Today’s holidays:  Saint Nicholas Day (Christianity), Second Sunday of Advent (Roman Catholicism), Saint Day for Nicholas the Wonderworker (Greek Orthodox Christianity).

Worthy causes of the day:  “Divided We Fail:  Real people, real stories”, “Senate: Don't Compromise on Public Option! - The Petition Site”, and “DemocracyForAmerica.com » Enough is Enough”.

Image of arch-hate-monger Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church via Wikipedia

Topic 1:  “Westboro Baptist will protest Hillel Monday”.  Let me be frank:  everyone your humble blogger has ever heard give an opinion of the Westboro Baptist Church thinks they are a bunch of hate-filled bigots with a poor grip on reality.  They are most infamous for insensitively (to put it very mildly) protesting at military funerals, claiming that homosexuality is the cause of war deaths.  They are rabidly anti-homosexual, anti-Catholic, anti-Protestant, anti-Eastern Orthodox, anti-Hindu, anti-Islamic, anti-Jewish, anti-American—pretty much anti-anything other than themselves.  The reasoning given for the protest (and probably every protest they ever had) makes no sense.  They just give insults, paranoia, and verses from the Christian Bible out of context.  Relevant to this particular protest, they do not seem to know anything about the historical Hillel or the modern organization named after him.  And yet, in all this, there is something to be said in their favor:  they are nonviolent.  They do not injury people.  They do not kill people.  They do not commit acts of terrorism.  All they do is go around the US and protest, claiming that God hates everyone who does not agree with them.  Contrast what happens in certain other parts of the Earth when one group opposes another:  oppression, violence, and death.  (Just out of my folder for stuff to be possibly posted on this blog:  “Al-Qaida Kills Eight Times More Muslims Than Non-Muslims”, “AZERBAIJAN: Officials deny Alternative Service commitment, as victim challenges sentence”, “TAJIKISTAN: Court bans Baptist church”, “KAZAKHSTAN: 'I could now be deported at any time'”, “Indonesian Theology Students Withstand Threats, Illness”, “Vietnam Buddhists complain of ongoing harassment”, “Swiss party leader calls for ban of separate Jewish and Muslim cemeteries”.)  Are the Westboro Baptist Church good people?  According to a lot of (if not most) moral systems, no.  They may be hate-mongering lunatics, but all they really accomplish is to annoy people.  As far as accomplishing evil goes, they are nothing more than comic relief.

Topic 2:  “Catholic League slams PETA ad featuring Joanna Krupa holding crucifix over nude body”:  The Catholic League is complaining about advertisements from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) ripping off Christian imagery and containing nudity.  It must be noted that no one is adverse to adopting pets.  The problem is that PETA’s public relations committee, while having mastered  the art of getting attention, seems to have no clue that needlessly offending people is a horrible way of spreading their message.  Not to mention that PETA has no clue what angels look like.  Usually they get described as “men”, but Ezekiel 1 has a truly psychedelic description which is anything but humanoid.

Topic 3:  To end on a lighter note, I would like to note that the Jewish holiday of Ḥanukkah starts this Friday night, and present the humorous list “Top Ten Signs your Family is unsubtly hinting to you to lose weight during your family Chanukah party”.

Peace.

Aaron

Reincarnation, pets, and a transsexual Jesus

Greetings.

Jewish date:  22 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Ḥayye-Sarah).

Today’s holidays:  Dedication of St. John Lateran (Roman Catholicism), Saint Day of Saint Nectarios (Greek Orthodox Christianity).

Worthy causes of the day:  “Support Innovative Humanitarian Assistance in Ethiopia - The Petition Site” and “End Overfishing -- A Chance to Save 10 Species - The Petition Site”.

Note:  For a change, today I will not discuss His Dark Materials.  There is a lot more religiously going on than militant atheists writing material which shows they do not know what they are talking about.

Topic 1:  “Head Check”.  This Dry Bones cartoon does a pretty good job discussing what happened in last week’s Fort Hood incident.

Topic 2:  “Buddhist robber's 'mum reincarnated as a cat' denied visiting rights in jail!”:  I cannot make this case up.  A Buddhist robbed a bank and was put in jail.  He has been denied visits from his cat, which he believes is the reincarnation of his mother, because he has not been able to convince the court that the cat really is the reincarnation of his mother.  I am not an expert on Buddhism, but I believe the correct Buddhist response is that because he did something wrong (robbing a bank), karma is smacking him in the face.  The non-Buddhist response is to wonder how to prove a cat is a reincarnation of a human without the cat engaging in overtly human-like behavior, such as writing.

Topic 3:  “Gone to the dogs: LA church starts pet service”:  Nothing particularly fallacious here.  Just an unusual attempt at evangelism.

Topic 4:  “Transsexual Jesus sparks protests”:  The transsexual Jesus is part of the play “Jesus, Queen of Heaven”.  On one hand, Christians have a long history of adapting the image of Jesus to local cultures.  Think about it:  what are the chances that Jesus looked European and not Jewish?  The standard image of Jesus in the West is not historically accurate.  Said image is actually a statement that Jesus is relevant to Europeans.  A transsexual Jesus may just be a statement that Jesus is relevant to homosexuals, bisexuals, and transsexuals.  On the other hand, this play does not reflect the message of Jesus as laid down in the Gospels and cannot be historically accurate.  Furthermore, the title “Queen of Heaven” actually applies to Jesus’s mother Mary and (worse) various pagan goddesses.  These inaccuracies, naturally and expectedly, have made some rather unhappy.

Peace.

Aaron

Lack of freedom of religion

Greetings.

Jewish date:  18 Tishri 5770.

Today’s holidays:  Ḥol hamMo‘edh Sukkoth (Judaism), Samhain (Wicca).

Topic 1:  Unfortunately, there is a lot of religious intolerance by many of the governments of the former Soviet Union:  “AZERBAIJAN: Police chief deports local-born Baptist – with no documentation”, “RUSSIA: 'You have the law, we have orders'”, “KAZAKHSTAN: Officials who raid religious communities 'merely fulfilling their duty'”, “TAJIKISTAN: 'It seems that reading the Bible together is now a criminal offence'”.  Vietnam and Turkey also have problems along these lines:  “Buddhist sect decries lack of religious freedom in communist Vietnam” and “Overlooking religious minorities”.  The folly of a government trying to dictate truth should be obvious; reality really does not care what people or groups thereof (such as governments) think, but it is whatever it is nevertheless.  It must also be noted that this is illegal under international law.

Topic 2 will be in a separate post because Blogger is giving me some nonsense about posts being limited to at most ten labels, and I have another topic to write about.

Aaron